#1 of One -- The New Definition of Winning

During our recent move, I was looking at one of the cardboard boxes we purchased from Lowe’s with their slogan, “Never Stop Improving”. That got me thinking about my concept I have believed for many years. We all have the desire to improve, but how do we measure our improvement? To what do we compare? Our culture tells us to compare to others as our measuring stick. “See what someone else has done and check if I did it better.”

This goes directly to our culture’s definition of winning -- “Being better than another”. But better than whom? Better than another person in your family, neighborhood, high school or college? Better than another person at work? Better than that composite perfect person we created in our mind that we wish we could be like?

Our culture looks at one’s performance as compared to another. We can take inspiration from the accomplishments of others, but an exact comparison to another can be destructive to what we think of ourselves and to what we may accomplish.

In 1992, Gatorade made a commercial using Michael Jordan with the slogan, “Be Like Mike”. So often we wish we could be like someone else. Sometimes we have a person who inspires us to be better, or someone whose traits we admire and wish to emulate. That inspiration is good and can propel us upward. But to be exactly like them in every respect is not possible.

Here is why no person should be compared to another, by themselves or by others. Each person is unique with a combination of characteristics different from everyone else -- appearance, talents, skills, abilities, personality, aspirations and so many other characteristics. Even identical twins who are very much alike in so many ways have differences. Therefore, each person is an original and the true definition of unique -- “existing as the only one”.

Because each person is unique, any comparison to another is meaningless. We will never compare exactly with another person. With each person’s combination of characteristics, there is no common ground for a comparison. Each person stands alone in what makes them who they are. The only legitimate evaluation of a unique individual is summed up by “Is he or she better or worse than before?”

Therefore, when you stop comparing yourself to anyone else, and compare yourself with yourself, you become #1 in your individual group. Since you are the only one in your group, you are #1 of One. Each unique person in the world is #1 since there is only one person to compare to. When we have the inspiration and the desire to improve, what is the correct measuring stick?

Here are the more satisfying questions to evaluate performance: “Are you better than you were?” Are you doing something better than you did it previously? If so, as compared to previous performance, you have progressed, and as a result, you won! There is no need to compare to another unique person.

Years ago, I came to a realization of this smarter approach to life. I offer a new and truer definition of winning – “Being better than you were, not better than another.” Comparisons should always be based our own internally set goals and standards, never based on the actions of others. This is a healthier approach to life than what our current culture of comparison to others teaches us.

What is the primary advantage of the new definition of winning? When we make ourselves better than we were, never comparing our incremental progress with anyone else’s, we heighten our own true self-esteem. Which is the better choice for your self-esteem -- to be better than another, or to be better than you were? When you pass internally set milestones, you win, even if someone’s else’s performance was better than yours. As we evaluate our life, we can feel better about our progress when we compare to our past selves rather than attempt comparisons to others.

To assist in being satisfied with our progress, we need to create internal goals and milestones, not external ones based on another person or group. When I was at the gym, I used an Expresso exercise bike with its “Ghost Rider” feature. The monitor at the front of the bike shows a “ghost” version of your previous ride on that course giving incentive to do better. With the new definition of winning, you were working against yourself. If you beat your ghost rider, you win! The old definition would be having you compare your time on the course with someone else to see who “won” that day.

This external comparison takes place in all environments – family, friends, school, work, government, social media and sports. For 20 years the successful ad campaign of the Army was “Be all you can be.” But you need to be the best YOU can be – an internal comparison. Many people what to be the best at something -- #1. When the comparison group is limited to one person, it’s very easy to be #1 all the time!

The new definition of winning is achieving personal and internally set goals or standards that never involve comparison to anyone else. When we “never stop improving” compared to our own internal milestones, life can be happier and more satisfying as a unique person with a combination of characteristics that can’t be compared with anyone else. That’s the new and smarter definition of winning. We are all #1 of one.

©2019 by Carter L. Knapp